This month’s wine book club selection is this little dirty number. With all the buzz surrounding this book and claims that women are going absolutely nympho effing crazy after reading it, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Then, after hearing it was a poorly written Twilight fanfic before it became a huge mainstream hit didn’t give me much hope.

I bought the e-book version of this, on purpose. First, I didn’t want my husband to get his hopes up. And second, well, that pretty much covers it.

Maybe I’m frigid and have issues, but the sex stuff did absolutely nothing for me. After a while it was just like, really? Again? Again you’re doing this? I think I was expecting it to be much more brutal than it was, not that THAT would have done anything for me, but I found it all to be, as Christian Grey would say, “vanilla.”

Then there’s the characters themselves. Christian is a mystery but it seems to be that deep down he’s just an immature, kind of douchebag dude that is just really, really screwed up in the head. Anastasia has some self-confidence issues but a lot of sass, and I think she is just so attracted to Christian and flattered that he is attracted to her, that she goes along with his bullshit. The dude is a certified creeper. When he showed up in Savannah when she was visiting her mom, that was it for me. Get a restraining order, now. Or not – that could possibly turn him on.

I have no interest in the other two books in this series, if they promise more of the same. And there’s talk of a movie version? Yikes. Will it be shown on Skinimax? Or will you have to go to the “special” section of the video store to get it?