Sigh.
I think even George R.R. Martin got bored with this one.
This is meant to be happening in tandem with book 5, and he put all the dud characters into this book, and saved the good ones for the next book. Where is my Khaleesi? Not in book four. The Imp’s witticisms? Wait til next time. I know nothing of Jon Snow in book four.
We do have the Lannister twins, each with their own POV chapters, Brienne of Tarth, Samwell, the Stark girls by their new monikers, some Greyjoy bickering and then some shit in Dorne. I assume this side plot will be important at some point but right now I Dorne give a crap about these people.
This was a struggle to get through. I kept waiting for another Red Wedding moment, or a Joff choking on the poisoned pie moment. By page 800-something I had completely given up. The last 100 pages have *some* action, but it’s not enough. Big ups to Lady Stoneheart, though, that was probably the best part of the whole damn book.
I finished this book last night, and really didn’t understand what happened at the end. You know how in book one your last image is of KHALEESI nursing the dragons and it’s this huge dramatic moment? And then the second and third book have those moments of high drama right at the end, too?
This one ended with Samwell.
And though I do love me some Slayer, it seemed anti-climactic. Or maybe I missed something. The last line of the book refers to this guy, Pate, and I was all, who’s Pate? Should I remember this? I kind of remember some reference to Pate earlier in the book but I’ll be damned if I’m going to thumb back through 975 pages to find that reference. After Wiki’ing it, I see that it was the prologue. That was like, a long time ago when I read that???
Also, after reading the Wiki, I find that I missed a LOT of crucial plot points through the drivel of this book. I’m glad I read it because otherwise I would have been lost later on when I decide to read A Dance With Dragons.
Which, speaking of, because I am an a-hole, I read the Wiki of A Dance With Dragons and just basically spoiled the entire book for myself. I couldn’t help it. I had to know what happened. Anyway, it seems a lot more action-packed than this one.
Finally, the title bugs me. A Feast For Crows. The crows in this series have typically been the Night’s Watchmen. However, as I mentioned before, the only man of the Watch in this book is Sam, and he’s certainly not feasting. I must be missing some deeper meaning behind this one. I’m just too bored to care.
Grown Up Book Reports 
I agree with you completely. I read this book a year ago and it was so bad it made me want to abandon the series.
Martin is extremely inventive with his characters and his worlds, but he too often relies on the plot twists (I.E. killing off characters) to keep the action going. A storm of swords…or whatever the third book was I can’t remember, was amazing, but he wrote himself into the corner because he resolved the main conflict in the series.
Was I shocked to see Robb Stark Killed? Absolutely. Was I happy Joffery finally got what he deserved? Damn skippy. Only the problem is: now the war’s over, and where do you go from there?
Martin obviously didn’t know for this book. Instead he spends 1,000 pages describing every piece of food on everyone’s plate, and delving into some very boring and pointless side stories. Somewhere else I read this book is tolerable if you skip Brienne and Cersei completely. That will cut out about half of it.
Fear not, A dance with dragons is a return to form! Not as good as book 3, but certainly better than 4.