The second book in the Twilight series that teenaged girls and cougar moms alike go gaga for, New Moon is, in this reader’s opinion, a snoozer. I was totally on board for the first book. I was all about Edward and Bella and their budding romance. In this book, Edward and his family ditch town because they come pretty close to going all vampire on Bella at her birthday party, which I imagine would really suck (pun intended! ha!).

Bella is understandably depressed that her boyfriend just dumps her and skips town, but after the funk wears off, she is distracted by her new bestie, Jacob. Oh, except one little detail … Jacob goes all Teen Wolf on her ass and doesn’t want to see her either. And since Bella has treated all her non-supe friends like dog crap all year, they pretty much want nothing to do with her. Oh, poor, poor Bella.

I spent most of this book being extremely bored. I guess this means I am a begrudging member of Team Edward. I will be looking for my membership card in the mail in 4-6 weeks. I kept wondering the entire time when Edward would re-appear, and hoping that Bella wouldn’t hook up with Jacob on the side.

Then there’s a huge threat that some other pissed off lady vampire wants to give Bella the big sleep, and this somehow never pans out. I thought for sure the book would end with some big showdown between the lady vamp and Edward. But nope, lady vampire apparently got chased off by Jacob and his were-friends. What evs. Maybe she’ll be back in the next installment, which maybe I’ll read once I forgot how much I didn’t care for this book.